According to this guy who felt the need to freak me out today, there are a couple deals that would make sense for both sides.
The more scary scenario presented sent David Ortiz, Jose Iglesias and Ryan Kalish to New York for Joba Chamberlain and Jesus Montero.
First, for my own sanity, let's crush these two ideas. If Boston ever sent a World Series hero directly to New York, it would cause a backlash among Red Sox Nation that would make the 2004 Nomar Garciaparra trade seem like nothing more than a murmur. Both Lowell (2007 World Series MVP) and Ortiz (who hit roughly .914 in the last eight games of their 2004 title run) fit the bill there. Papi, even with his struggles over the past two years, is still the most beloved Sox player on the roster.
In the Lowell deal, the Yankees would send just Melancon to Beantown. While the Lowell/prospect combo isn't the sweetest of deals, Melancon has a career ERA of just under 5.00 and is the exact player people talk about when they describe a AAAA player: too good for Triple-A, but not good enough for the bigs. No thanks.
In the Ortiz deal, Boston would also ship Iglesias and Kalish out of town. Iglesias is Boston's long-term solution to their shortstop problems since the departure of Nomah. Since 2004, the 6-spot has seen Orlando Cabrera, Edgar Renteria, Alex Gonzalez (twice), Alex Cora, Julio Lugo, Jed Lowrie and Marco Scutaro for significant periods of time. It makes less than zero sense to both compound those problems and give the Yankees an heir apparent to Derek Jeter.
Kalish is a highly-touted outfielding prospect who could fit in well with Jacoby Ellsbury and a free agent in a couple years, assuming someone like Josh Reddick or Ryan Westmoreland doesn't step up by then. By offering Ortiz-Iglesias-Kalish, Boston would have to get something huge in return.
And technically, they would. Chamberlain is a fatty. Sure, Joba has shown flashes of brilliance, but he's also taken a big step back this season by being inconsistent and unreliable as Mariano Rivera's setup man. Boston needs bullpen help, but bringing in a guy with a 5.66 ERA isn't exactly a good fix. The only good side is that Chamberlain would become a pariah immediately. Heck, he would even replace Bill Hall as my least favorite Red Sox player. Barely.
Montero would be a nice addition and I haven't grown to hate him yet, but even New York's top catching prospect isn't enough to make this a good trade for Boston. He and Iglesias might be a push, which means you're offering Ortiz and Kalish for Joba? I'll pass.
Second, if any talks even surface that a deal is being kicked around, I'll never forgive the article's author for putting the wheels in motion. I can't figure out how a writer for boston.com could find humor in this, as well as not cringe with every word he wrote. Heck, I was cringing writing what I did and I shot down his ideas.
It's just the way it is with this rivalry and to not understand that is idiotic. I know the idea is to build the best team you can, but at the same time, you don't want the team you're chasing in the standings to become better. Especially at the expense of your fan base.
But thanks for the idea, Peter Abraham! Good luck finding a new job!